You always Love In Vain?

Too often we fall in love with someone out of a place of need: You may need someone to complete it, because as you are, you do not feel good enough. Yet, the love you feel for the other person might be entirely true, even though its origins date back to their own inadequacies.

But somewhere along the line you believe that love - which is your investment in the other person - should pay dividends. In a bad relationship, could not be expected dividends.

Why is there so much fuss and - dare I say? - Self-indulgence, magically sanctioned by the word 'lurv', it is easy to confuse the issues.

And 'possible to love the wounded child that lurks in the depths of a violent partner, or child in need that drives the behavior of the sex addict, or the child suffers from crouching in the depths of any number of other damaged (and damaging) human beings .

But you really want to tie your life to them? Expects profoundly damaged human beings to contribute to your happiness reasonable? And it's a good idea to remove the voice of reason?

The choice is yours if you want to meet people with love and compassion in the moment ... and transmitting, or if you want to make a crusade of the report. When you embark on a crusade, a mission of rescue and prop up their sense of self through another person, to invest your self-esteem misguidedly. So the investment, or more correctly, your bet will be in vain, as a general rule. As with any investment, you can go wrong - in which case the most sensible thing is to get out as quickly and painlessly as possible.

A lot of people, at some point in their lives, will lay a good love after bad. Just as people do with money. It 'a strategy that is unlikely to produce the desired results, in both cases. Even love must be better than no love. Refusing to love, or closing down for the love, numbs the soul.

And as there are several tracks for the wealth highway, so there are more lanes to love. There is the love you have for your partner. There are also family members, friends and people you meet in specific contexts with which, however briefly, you can have a love - namely, caring, empathic, disinterested - relationship. What kind of relationship, certainly not in vain.

Finally, there is the comment of Lucille Ball, who deserves to become mantra: 'Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.' Now what kind of love is never surely in vain....